Have Faith
by take5
Summary: For all of those who asked, a sequel to Thinking of You
1. Chapter 1

**Here it is-enjoy!**

Silence. It's the first thing I hear when I awake. The light filtering into the room is bright and is the reason I am awake to begin with.

It is usually quiet in the early morning, one of the best aspects of not living in the city. But this is different and as strange as it is-this silence sounds unfamiliar. I can't help but feel that something is off.

I turn to face Bill to see if he is still sleeping and am surprised to see that he is gone. This is unusual since we normally spend a good part of the morning cuddling in bed. The change in our routine reinforces the feeling that something is just not right.

Climbing out of bed I look at the clock. _8:53. _I pull my robe over me and head downstairs in search of my husband. When I reach the main level of our house I can her whispers. Bill's voice mainly and at first I think that he is on the phone.

But as I turn the corner to the kitchen I am shocked to see Jack Bauer standing there.

At Jack's expression Bill turns around to face me. He looks exhausted. They both do and I have to wonder how long they have been up for.

"Karen," he says but stops short. He has no idea what to say, how to explain this to me. I look at Jack, who is looking back forth between Bill and I.

Finally he decides to take over the conversation.

"Karen."

"Jack," I say cutting him off before he can continue and with more force than I had intended.

"I didn't know where else to go."

With that my heart breaks. Its not that I don't like Jack. I do, very much so. And it isn't that I don't want him here. But along with L.A, CTU, Homeland, Washington, and everyone else, he is a constant reminder of mine and Bill's troubled times and of what we almost lost.

Looking into his eyes I see something that I don't normally associate with Jack Bauer, agent extraordinaire. Fear.

I look at Bill who is looking at me. His expression is pleading with me to let him stay. I know that Jack is like a son to Bill and me saying anything other than yes would result later in a fight.

Finally I give in. "Bill, take Jack up to the guest room and give him everything he will need. I'll make some breakfast."

Bill lets out a small sigh of relief and Jack takes two steps towards me.

"Thank you Karen," he says quietly. I place my hand on his shoulder and smile. He heads upstairs giving Bill and I a moment alone. He walks over to me and wraps his arms around me and places a kiss on my head. I delight in the contact for a minute before pulling away and Bill follows Jack.

As I watch him walk away I can't help but feel that he is, in a small way, walking away from me. Away from our marriage, us, and is taking a step towards our old lives where we weren't each other's top priority. I pray that I am wrong and that Bill doesn't feel this way.

Shaking I quickly push these thoughts aside as I prepare breakfast. But deep down I suddenly realize that Jack's stay will be much more than just a visit. It will be a true test of our relationship and the stability of our newly founded life together.


	2. Chapter 2

**A second chapter! Only months after I predicted it would be up. Sorry for the delay! Enjoy!**

Its nearly 11:00 at night and I am in bed reading. Well not really, I have a book in front of me but I seem to be reading the same line over and over again.

I'm restless with worry. I have been in bed for over an hour waiting for Bill to come up. We have hardly spoken all day and I refuse to go to sleep without clearing the air.

It had been an unsettling day- first with Jack's return and then the sudden but not so surprising distance between Bill and I. _Old habits never really go away. _

Breakfast was quiet and I did most of the talking. Afterwards both of them went to bed to catch up on the sleep they had missed the night before and I was left alone. Not being able to bear the silence I buried myself in household chores; cleaned the breakfast table, did a load of laundry, reorganized the pantry, and even contemplated moving around the furniture in the living room. I even did the dishes by hand despite having a dishwasher. It kept my mind busy.

It was mid afternoon by the time Bill came downstairs. He was showered and dressed but still looked exhausted. I was standing in the middle of the study trying to decide what project to tackle next when he came in.

"I'm going into the city to get a doctor to look over Jack," he said quietly glancing at me and then quickly looking away.

"Good idea," I replied. "Any particular cause for concern?"

"No, just my own peace of mind."

I nodded silently and watched him as he turned and walked out of the room. _That could have gone better. _

7:47 is what the clock on the wall told me. I was sitting in the dining room with three places set but only one seat was occupied. Bill and Jack had been gone nearly five hours and should have been back. The half empty bottle of wine sitting on the table next to me had been my only dining companion.

Half of me prayed that everything was alright with Jack but the rational side of my claimed that if it was anything serious Bill would have called. I stood and began to clear the table when I heard the front door open. I could her Bill muttering "C'mon now Jack".

I half ran into the front hall to see a completely drunk Jack stumble into the house with Bill helping him to stand. Jack finally gathered his footing and began to slowly climb the stairs.

"Fucking Heller," he mumbled just as he reached the top and disappeared into his room leaving Bill and I alone downstairs.

"We'll know the test results in the next couple of days," Bill said entering the house. Walking into the kitchen he took one glance at the food I had began to put away and into the dining room at the set table. Overwhelmed he ran his hand through his hair and walked away into his study where he shut the door and I was left to finish cleaning up.

Now I am laying here and thinking about the coldness and distance between us. I am tempted to dive into my work but then realize that I have no work to occupy my time.

Defeated I turn off the light and settle into our bed. _Our bed. Where I lie by myself. For the first time in months. _

I am half asleep when Bill enters the bedroom. He discards of his clothing and climbs in without even turning on the light. I am too tired to have a discussion with him now. I make a mental note to talk with him in the morning. However as I fall back asleep I only just hear his whispered "I'm sorry Karen" and my body moulds perfectly into his as he wraps his arms around me. I am comforted as we together fall into a peaceful state that will last, no doubt, only until dawn.


	3. Chapter 3

**I know I said I was going to end the story in one big update but I thought I would post the two chapters I had finished writing anyway. This way I can stop fussing over them and move forward. ENJOY!! **

Its been just over a month since Jack's arrival and I am sitting on the swing on the porch admiring the beauty of the changing leaves. The world seems to have changed so much with the warm summer turning into a cool fall and the town quieter with the summer tourists gone and the children back in school.

But the changes of the world have not seeped into my home. Jack is still barely talking. A few quiet, mumbled sentences here and there. Yet this is just to me. He and Bill spend hours locked in my husband's study doing what I have no idea. When they do emerge from their private world they speak in hushed tones and share secretive glances. I am beginning to feel like an outsider in both my house and my marriage.

My interaction with Bill involves a little more contact. He says good morning and gives me a kiss on the head, then retreats to his study for hours and only comes out for dinner, during which he asks the usual questions. _How was my day? What did I do?_ I answer though I can tell he's not listening. At night we lay together, my head on his chest and I know by his breathing that he is unable to sleep. He seems troubled and his mind is elsewhere and never with me where I need him the most. I rub my hand across his chest as a silent reassurance but he refuses to let me in. We wake up the next morning just to repeat this routine.

For the first time I notice my cheeks are tear-stained. Its been so long since I've cried, not since that night I returned from Washington. Shuddering, at the thought of my crumbling life more than the cold, I pull the blanket tighter around me. But this does nothing so I enter the house to make some tea. From the kitchen I can hear whispering voices and I am surprised that Bill and Jack are not in the study. I walk to where I can see them and immediately they both stop to look at me. Jack excuses himself and goes into the kitchen leaving Bill and I alone.

I look at Bill who is staring at me with such intensity. At first I am unsure if he is angry but as he moves forward he catches one lone tear that escapes down my cheek. I close my eyes and exhale at the gentle contact, the first in weeks, and reopen to see him looking down at me. His eyes are filled with love but there is something else there. _Is it fear?_ A wave of emotion comes over me and I go to tell him how much I love him and that everything will be ok. But before I can even open my mouth his cell phone goes off and he pulls his hand from face as if my skin burned him. He snaps out the trance and goes to his office to answer it, shutting the door behind him.

Slightly devastated and little heartbroken I decide I need to get out of the house. Not wanting to disturb Bill I head into the kitchen in search of Jack. He is sitting at the table looking out the large windows but looks up at me when I walk in. Trying my best not to cry I tell him that I am going out if he could please pass the message on to Bill. He nods carefully and asks quietly if I am ok. I am surprised by this-it's the most direct thing he has said to me since arriving. Its almost as if he can sense the sadness in me. I quickly wipe a few tears that have spilled over and tell him I will be fine before grabbing the keys and my coat.

Slamming the door shut on the car I place my head on the steering wheel and cry. I feel I have nowhere to go until I realize that we need groceries. _Groceries…we need groceries…groceries…_I repeat to myself as I turn the ignition and drive away in an attempt to leave behind my miseries.


	4. Chapter 4

Its dark when I pull into the driveway after having spent several hours in town. My anger has subsided, but only for the moment. I dreamt all the way home that when I walked through the door Bill would be standing there arms open and ready to talk. But exiting the car I can see that all the lights in the house are off except for the one in the study. _Surprise, surprise. _

Balancing several bags in my arms I attempt to open the front door without dropping the groceries everywhere. Funny, the door seems much heavier than normal. I manage to open it with little resistance and enter the front hall. From here I can see that Bill's study door is shut and I know that he and Jack are in there. Where else would they be? I don't bother calling him to come and help. The phone rings and I can see the cordless lying on the table just a few feet from me. I half expect Bill to get it but after the fourth ring I give up. Knowing I only have one more ring I rush to answer it without putting the bags down. In my attempt to move across the hall I slightly trip and drop everything. Cursing I pick up the phone.

"Hello?" I ask with heavy breaths.

"Can you put Bill or Jack on?" Asks the voice on the other end.

"Chloe? How are you? Is everything ok with the baby?" A flood of concern washes over me.

"Everything's fine, Karen."

I wait for her to elaborate on why she is calling but her silence tells me that she not going to share. I mumble to hold for one second and I walk over to Bill's office. Tapping lightly on the door I can hear swift movement before becoming face to face with my husband. Handing him the phone I tell him its Chloe. I think my tone was too harsh because he looks at me questioningly before eyeing the dropped groceries, more specifically the crushed eggs, on the floor by the door. He takes the phone gently and before he has the opportunity to shut the door on me I turn on my heels and walk away briskly.

As I pick up the broken eggs and clean the floor my mind is on fast forward. _Why is it that Jack and Bill spend hours locked away? Why is Bill so anxious recently? Why can't he sleep at night? Why would Chloe secretly be calling my husband? WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?_

But before I can storm into Bill's office and start demanding answers I hear the front door slam shut. I run into the front hall and look out the window just in time to see Bill and Jack speed off in our SUV.

And I cannot believe he has the audacity to leave without saying goodbye. Not even a shout as he was heading out the door. My anger from earlier resurfaces and I am tempted to take the vase sitting on the table and throw it across the room. But just as I am reaching for it the phone rings and I reluctantly pick it up.

"Hello?" I ask with a strained politeness.

"Karen," I roll my eyes. I should hang up on him. "I need you do to something." He sounds panicked and my heart skips. "I need you to lock all the windows and the doors and set the alarm on the house."

Ok. Now I am definitely worried.

"Bill, what is going on." This time it's a demand, not a question. But as I wait for answer I begin to quickly move about the house doing has he asked.

"Please Karen, just do it. When you are finished go into my study. In the top right hand drawer there is a…" he pauses briefly before quickly exhaling. "…there's a gun. Keep it with you."

I nearly trip down the stairs.

"You have a gun? You have a gun in the house?!" I am practically yelling. "You know how I feel about this Bill. How long has it been here?"

"Only two weeks."

"ONLY?!" Taking a deep breath and pinching the bridge of my nose I start again. "Bill, tell me, please, what is happening?"

He lowers his voice to a near whisper and I know its because Jack is close by. "I will explain everything when I get home in two hours but for now can you please just do this. For me?"

Letting out a slow breath I mumble yes and he tells me he loves me. I mumble that back too and hang up. Heading into the study I open the drawer and pick up the cold, shiny gun. _I can't fucking believe this. _I set the alarm before heading upstairs where I plan to wait in bed for Bill's return.

Walking the stairs I shake my head in disbelief, mainly at my own ignorance for thinking that Bill and I could ever fully leave those past lives behind, and I begin to pray that maybe just one day our biggest problem will be whose turn it is to load the dishwasher. _Yeah right. _


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok, so here is chapter 5! There will be one more chapter and then it will be finished! This is definitely the LONGEST chapter I have ever written coming in at just under 2000 words. I feel like I have just finished running a marathon. **

**Now for those of you who have been following the story this may seem like a shock because this definitely has action in it, so unlike me I know, but I figured I would do something different. You may want to re-read chapter 4**** where I dropped major hints ****that thi****s chapter wouldn't be anything but dramatic****. I've never written anything like this so if you could let me know how you like it I would ****really appreciate**** it. ENJOY!! – take5**

* * *

The lamp on the nightstand is the only source of light on in the entire house. Its been half an hour since I've spoken to Bill and I am lying in bed waiting. Waiting for him to come home. Waiting for answers. I am slightly comforted by the fact that _something _is going on. That it isn't just Bill and I drifting a part because we've change or we're bored. No, this is definitely something bigger than us.

_But what?__ What's going on Bill? What can't you tell me?_

Figuring Bill won't be home for another hour and a half I pick up the phone to call my sister. I know its late but she can always make me feel better and, until Bill came along, less alone.

_DAMN IT! _–I'm half way through dialling her number when I realize I forgot to lock the doors to the cellar. They lead from the outside the side of the house to our basement but because of how heavy and dusty they get we hardly use them. And therefore forget to lock them.

_Ugh. _I roll my eyes.

I debate with myself whether I should go lock them. On the one hand I am finally settled into bed and am very comfortable. But Bill would be upset if he found out I knew they weren't locked and did nothing. Reason eventually wins out and I move off the bed-besides the alarm doesn't protect those doors because they are so old. Better safe than sorry.

Grabbing the gun off the bed I pull my robe over me and make my way downstairs not even bothering to turn the lights on. As I reach the bottom of the stairs I turn down the hallway towards the basement door when I hear it.

Ever so faintly-a creak in the floorboards. Not coming from beneath me but behind me. My heart begins to pound harder, my breathing all of a sudden heavier, and I immediately begin cursing Bill and Jack for not taking me with them.

Turning slowly I make out a dim shadow move across the front hall and into Bill's study and my thoughts flash to the unlocked, unprotected cellar doors. Moving quietly to the study I carefully raise the gun into a shooting position.

_God __its__ been so long since I've done this._

In fact I've never really done this. People always think that with the FBI and all my government work that I actually used a gun on a regular basis. They have no idea that I worked in the administration and not the field. They just hear FBI and assume that I was some pistol-packing, take no prisoners double agent. When truth be told the only time I ever touched a gun was in training-_a whole lot of good that does me now. _

Being just a few feet away from the door I hear nothing. Silence. No shuffling, no walking, not even breathing and I think for a moment that maybe it was just my imagination. Perhaps I didn't hear or see anything at all.

My thoughts are interrupted, however, by a blow to the back of my head. I don't know what it is but it was hard and those are my final thoughts as I a hit the floor and quickly slip out of consciousness.

* * *

I'm lying on something hard. Hard and cold. Turning my head slightly I realize that I'm lying on the floor.

_Why am I lying on the floor? Surely I would have never fallen asleep here. Did I fall out of the bed? No-__our room has plush, soft carpeting and this is hardwood. Where am I?_

Memories of getting out of bed, walking downstairs, finding an intruder, and getting hit in the head come back to me. The lights in the house are on now and I realize that whoever did this didn't bother to move me. Though they did take the time to tie my hands behind my back and place tape over my mouth. Pushing myself slightly off the floor my head begins to spin and I hit the floor again with a thud and a moan.

Footsteps and a hand on my shoulder pushes me on my back. I don't recognize the face well at least through my blurred vision. His look changes from one of determination to a softer, more sympathetic one.

"She's awake! I didn't kill her!" He yells to someone in a heavy Russian accent. "She's awake," he says in a softer tone, brushing the hair out of my eyes.

Heavier footsteps come towards me and another man enters my vision. He's holding a sandwich in one hand and a beer in the other and in an instant I know that these two are not the ones in charge. They are just someone else's lackeys here to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't get in the way.

_Babysitter is a pretty good term. _

Immediately I think of Bill and I pray that he is alright. I wonder if these two morons know about my years of working with criminals such as themselves and that I am already predicting their every move in my head.

"Get her to disarm the alarm and the sit her on the couch. She's no use to us just yet," orders the taller one, also with a Russian accent, as he walks back to the kitchen.

The shorter one nods and carefully picks me up. He places one hand on my back and walks me over to the front door where the alarm keypad is.

"Please turn off the alarm," he asks.

"Tell her what happens to her and her husband if she sets it off on purpose," the other shouts from the kitchen.

I turn to the man standing next to me whose arm is still wrapped around my waist holding me up. His eyes gently plead with me to do as I am told. He quietly unties my hands and I do as I am told and return my hands to the position behind my back allowing for them to be tied again. He tenderly moves me to the chair in the living room and whispers that he will be right back.

I close my eyes in disbelief.

_I cannot believe this is happening. This can't be happening. Karen, damn it, __WAKE__ UP!_

I hear can hear talking in Russian which turns into shouting then the sound of a slap across the face. The shorter man walks back into the living room his hand covering his cheek. Despite this situation I feel slight remorse for him. He seems to be victim too, drawn into a life of crime and terrorism because of a family member. I know that if I have any chance of making it through this alive it will be because of him.

_I wonder if he has ever killed someone…_

He moves towards me and sits on the coffee table in front of me.

"Alexsei, my brother, says I cannot clean your head." He looks down then back up at me. "I am very sorry for hurting you. I had no other choice."

I wince in pain. I had forgotten about that.

"Would you like something to drink?"

I shake my head and a strand of hair falls across my face. He immediately goes to brush it back and his thumb traces my cheek.

My thoughts flash to Bill and all the times he has done that. My heart breaks for him and for the first time all night tears fall down my face.

"I've been watching you."

_What?_

I look up at the man sitting in front of me and all of a sudden I feel very uncomfortable.

"I've been watching you. That was my job-to watch you-for weeks." He shifts himself so that he is kneeling before me, his hands gripped onto my knees. I look at the front door and practically scream at Bill, anyone, to come bursting through the door. Nothing.

"I would watch you in the morning, out in the garden, planting flowers or raking leaves. I would watch you in the afternoon, in the town, shopping by yourself. A beautiful woman should not be out on her own. My favourite was at night though when you were getting ready for bed. Then you would fall asleep, so peacefully, again all alone."

His look changes and voice becomes cold.

"He doesn't deserve you, your pathetic husband. He ignores you and here you are in danger and where is he? With Jack Bauer!"

He gets up and I think for a second his going to hit me. But instead he picks up a picture of Bill and throws it across the room. It smashes into a million pieces and I cry out in protest. He looks at me about to say something but is interrupted by his brother.

Alexsei walks into the living and looks at his distraught brother and then at me.

"Kill her," he says with no emotion. My eyes widen and I choke down a sob.

"Why? What happened Alexei?" His brother cries out.

_At least one of us can voice our objection._

"She is no longer of use to us. The Chinese and the Arabs were unsuccessful tonight. Buchanan was killed but Bauer got away. We need to head out now."

_Bill's dead?_

"If the old man is dead why can't we take her with us, Alexsei?"

_My husband is dead.__ My thoughts scatter into a million different places._

"Dimitri, I do not have time to plays games with you!"

_I am a widow. Bill's gone. _

"You said if I watched her I could keep her! I love her Alexsei I cannot leave her here!"

_Oh my Bill_

Tears begin to pour down my face and body shakes with involuntary sobs. Between my loud cries of pain and their shouting which is now in Russian I wish they would just kill me.

_Without Bill my life is nothing. He is my heart and my….was that a gun shot?_

I snap my head up to see Alexsei standing over Dimitri who is lying on the floor with a bullet in his forehead. He lowers the gun and looks at me.

_Oh my god. Oh my god! _

He steps over Dimitri's body and towards me.

_He just killed his brother! HIS BROTHER! _

He stops just short of ten feet away from me and raises his gun to me.

_And now he is going to kill me. _

His eyes darken and his finger on the trigger.

_I love you Bill. I have always loved you and always will. _

Those are my only thoughts as I lower my head and shut my eyes tight. There's no use crying anymore. I can hear the clicking of the gun as I take a deep breath.

I hear the gun go off and the sound resonating around the room. I hear a cry of pain and glass shattering yet I feel nothing except for my own racing heart.

I wait-nothing. I open my eyes to see the dead Russian on the floor covered in blood. He is lying in front of a pair of feet and I slowly lift my head to lock eyes with none other than Jack Bauer.

He did escape! From what, or whom, I don't know but he's here! And his kind, blue eyes are the last thing I see before blacking out from exhaustion, pain, and most of all a broken heart.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok so I have had this finished for quite some time but I had a second section to this chapter. However all together it was like 3,000 words and I just felt like it was too much information for one chapter so I am breaking it up. Here is the first half! The second part is almost finished but I am still not 100 with it so give me at least one more day to get it right. Anyway most people when I asked said they wanted this story updated so here you go and I hope you enjoy! take5**

* * *

My first instinct when I open my eyes is too close them again. The bright light coming through the large bedroom windows combined with my splitting headache is just too much to handle.

I squint trying to readjust my vision and to clear my head. Lying on my side on the edge of the bed I can see right out the window at the trees of the forest lining the property. Admiring the colours of the leaves it is just now that I realize how much time has passed. So much has changed and I hadn't even noticed.

My brain is avoiding my memories. It doesn't want to remember or acknowledge what happened. Flashes of images playing through my mind like an old movie but I continue to repress them. I take in the fall scenery for what feels like a lifetime however impatience wins out. Its pointless to avoid remembering the events of the night before. It certainly doesn't make it hurt any less. Trying to sort out what happened I start from the beginning.

_Bill's rushed phone call. Locking the windows and setting the alarm. Coming downstairs and finding an intruder._

I shudder at the feeling the memories bring back but press myself to move forward. I have to do this.

_Getting knocked unconscious. Waking up to two strange men; one with an infatuation and the other a cold-blooded killer. Their fight and the revelation that Bill…_

My eyes well with tears and a sudden wave of grief washes over me with the reality that Bill is gone.

_He told me he loved me and I hardly said it back._

It reminds me of our last cold conversation after the terrorist attacks on that day. It was him who brushed me off that time but in the end it doesn't even matter. It sucks to be the one who didn't reciprocate.

_I would tell him over and over how much I love him and expect nothing in return. As long as he knew that he was my everything. _

I smile at the thought but it was true.

_47 years of nothing for 3 years of everything. _

I realize that our anniversary is coming up and I frown.

_I can't do this. It hurts so much and I can't even breathe._

I bury my head in my pillow and sob.

Seconds, minutes, hours pass-I don't even know anymore. It occurs to me that I don't even know what happened or where he is right now. All I can remember after seeing Jack was seeing blackness. I acknowledge that calls have to be made and I look at the clock.

_9:27 AM. _

Pulling myself into a sitting position I stare out the window. Reaching a hand up I feel a bump on my head and-

_Are those stitches?_

I wish my thoughts weren't so jumbled. I try again and think back to when I was held at gun point. I thought for sure I was going to die. I was almost certain until…

_Jack and then darkness. _

He must have made sure that I was looked at by a doctor and then brought up to bed. Though looking down I hope that it was me who managed to get my pyjamas on. But this seems to bring more memories albeit more faded and distant.

_I remember waking up on the couch. The house was filled with FBI agents taking pictures and statements. The room was spinning. I'm fine-no concussion just exhaustion. I hear Jack's voice talking with…Doyle?_

I wonder what he could have been doing there but my thoughts are moving too fast for me.

_Suddenly there are two female voices speaking in hushed tones about me. One I recognize right away as Chloe's and the other is…Nadia! _

I am impressed that I am able to remember all this given my state and the fact that I never actually saw faces.

_I hear Morris leading the FBI outside. I'm still on the couch, eyes shut and I am trying to block out the sounds with no luck. My head is hurting me and my heart is killing me and I just want everyone to go away. A woman enters the room. She too is talking quietly but I also recognize her voice-Audrey._

Audrey? What the hell is she doing there? Why isn't she with her father and when did become coherent? I close my eyes and try to remember with a bit more force.

_How many people in the room? Chloe, Nadia, the guys, plus Audrey…there's seven including me. No wait-there's one more._

Come on Karen, think!

_Audrey enters the room and asks a question and it is met with silence. Finally a man speaks for the first time-_

I let out a cry of shock and jump off the bed.

"You're up."

I snap my head in the direction of the bedroom door.

"Bill," I cry and throw my arms open. He quickly enters our bedroom and kicks the door shut. He wraps his arms around me and holds me tight.

"I love you," I sob into his t-shirt. "So much, I love you so much." He's kissing my temple and rubbing slow circles in back and my headache seems to melt away.

I pull back to look into those beautiful blue eyes that I thought for sure I'd never see again. His stare penetrates through me and its as if all the distance between us was never there. But I can tell he's been crying and it brings me back to the question: what exactly went down?


	7. Chapter 7

**I have been dreading writing this for weeks because I kept thinking I was going to have to clearly organize my thoughts-and I've just been too tired. But imagine my surprise when I opened Word to find that it was already written and that I had finished it months ago! There will be one more chapter to finish it all off but I think that you'll find this update answers a lot of questions. Enjoy!**

Without saying a word we both climb into bed and snuggle under the covers where its warm and nothing can break us.

"First," he starts. "I just want to tell you how much I love you and how sorry I am. When this whole thing started-" he lets out a huge sigh. "I just never meant to put you in danger. You have to know that honey, I love you and hurting you emotionally or physically was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact I'd rather die than put you through that."

I smile, through tears, and place my hand over his and he squeezes it. "I know that sweetheart."

"When Jack showed up all those months ago he came to me with a plan. He figured that after the last terrorist attacks he was not only wanted by the Chinese, but also several Russian and Arab terrorist groups."

"Those who supported Fayed and Grendenko."

"Exactly. Jack thought that the only way out of this whole mess would be to fake a death and leave the country. If they thought he was dead then they would stop wasting time looking for him, especially if he was 'killed' by one of their own."

"Makes sense."

"Yes, but my only involvement was just to set it up and not actually take part. All I had to do was get the proper death certificates, new identification, and settle him somewhere else. Just the usual administrative stuff-I hate field work."

"You said you liked flying that helicopter," I smirk. Laying here like this feels right, just so like _us. _"What happened?"

"I didn't say I liked it, I said I got an adrenaline rush," he grins pulling me closer. I tuck my head under his and begin to draw patterns into his chest. "Besides you know from experience that things never turn out the way they are suppose to."

I can't argue there. I suddenly remember all those people who were there last night.

"Bill?"

"Hmm?"

"How does this explain why half of CTU was in our house last night? And why those two goons thought you were dead," I trail off and try to hold back more tears. "I thought I had lost you."

Bill brushes fallen tears with his thumb and presses a gentle kiss to my forehead.

"We needed all the help we could get. And who better to help than people who know the back roads of the government system as well than the former staff of CTU? I had my job but there were other things that needed to be taken care of the most important being the show down. But in order for that to happen we needed to profile the major players of the three groups and that was Chloe and Nadia's responsibility. Chloe tracked them down through the system, translated documents and phone calls and Nadia acted as a behavioural analyst predicting next moves and so on. Morris and Doyle were in charge of setting up the 'execution' and making the terrorists think that they did it."

He lets out a huge sigh and I finally begin to see all those things that have kept him awake at night.

"And then there was Audrey."

"I was surprised and a little shocked to hear her up and doing well."

"She has been for quite some time which is another thing I am truly sorry for. I know how much you care for her and how much you worried about her. I didn't want to keep that from you either and I promise you that before Jack arrived I didn't know she was coherent either. Apparently her brainwashing was not as complex as the Chinese would like to have thought. A few mind exercises and visits from family and she seemed to gradually get her memory back. When she remembered Jack she threw such a fit that her father banned Jack from seeing her Heller had but no choice to get in touch with Jack. He told Jack that he would back off of his and Audrey's relationship if Jack could assure him that nothing would ever harm her-I guess faking their deaths and getting a clean break was the only thing Jack could think of."

"Why not just go through Witness Protection?"

"Well Daniels promised Jack safety and freedom but you know better than anyone that Daniels was just as much of a broken man that day as anyone else. When he stepped down and President Pearson was sworn in the new administration refused to follow through on a lot of promises the Palmer/Daniels campaign made. Which basically left it to us to handle and if there's one thing I've learned working at CTU it was that we never leave a team member to fend for himself. Especially one like Jack Baur."

A calm silence falls over us and Bill seems to be content just laying here enjoying the final days of warm sunlight that fills up the room. I, on the other hand, am just dying to ask that one question that has been on my mind for months.

_I can't hold it in! _

"Are you bored?"

He seems startled. "What-Karen, no! It wasn't like that I swear!"

"So you're telling me that this only had to do with Jack and Audrey's safety and not because you are bored with retirement or with me?"

I can't help but get emotional.

"Karen," he rolls on his side so he is facing me square on. "I swear to you that this had nothing to do with me being bored. I love you and our life and I wouldn't change anything. If I had known then what I know now I don't think I would have gotten involved. And not because of Jack or Audrey-I am very glad that I was able to help them out but because of how much danger it put you in. My involvement was supposed to be very minimal and we didn't think that your safety would be jeopardized. This is why Jack was staying here in the first place and why we didn't let you in on this. The last thing I wanted to do was drag our marriage back into the lifestyle. But as things progressed and everyone started getting in deeper we all became moving targets."

"I didn't know until I had already left the house last night with you here by yourself that we were being watched," he voice drops so low I can barely hear him which is always a sure sign that he is upset. "More specifically you. Audrey, her job was surveillance, something she could do from her house without blowing her cover; she was assigned to watch what the other side was watching. Counter-surveillance I guess would be a better term. Anyway, she didn't pick it up at first but we were on our way to the site when she called to say that the Russians had been actively watching the house for weeks. I called you right away to tell you to set the alarm just in case a break-in was attempted while I was with Jack. This way the alarm would go off and the police would arrive if I couldn't make it there in time." He shakes his head. "We need to do something about those cellar doors."

A jolt of panic rushes through me.

"Why? Are we still in danger?"

Bill gives a small smile. "No, it was actually very successful. Most of the key figures were killed in a shoot out, the FBI already has their names and bodies and is claiming that this was a government operation so they get all the credit for taking out well known terrorists. The others are in custody and as far as any remaining members back in the old countries-Jack is dead and Audrey is institutionalized. The only two who got their signals confused were the two bastards here but they're dead now so we don't have to worry."

"So let me reiterate. I just want to make sure I have the right story: Jack shows up a wanted man, turns out Audrey is just fine but is faking her disorder as a cover, you and the rest of CTU plot to have well known terrorist comes to the States, stage an attack where such terrorists 'kill' Jack, and then have he and Audrey shipped off to..?"

"Canada, very northern Canada."

"And have them settled in Canada. Anything else I should know?"

"Yes. Everyone was here so late last night that I put them up in the guestrooms."

I nod. Of course he did.

"You're forgetting one more thing."

"What's that?"

"You still have to tell me why it came back that you were dead.

"Well…"

I pull back to look at him.

_I don't like where this is going._

"I did take several hits to chest," he stammers. "But I was wearing a vest! I swear, Karen, I would never be that reckless! See?"

He lifts his shirt to show several small bruises along his stomach and chest. I let out a huge sigh and roll on my back running my hand over my face.

"You know-I think they're kind of cool."

I send him my best disapproving look but he is grinning like a small child.

"Honey, think about it. If we had grandchildren this would make for a good war story."

I shake my head and lean over to place a soft kiss on his chest before leaning up to kiss him. Bill instantly wraps his arms around me and I get lost in the closeness.

_Its been way too long. _


End file.
